I've been busy and in a crafting jag, but I saw this post today and just had to share!
Some great phrases to use if you are aiming for a more gentle way.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
I saw this as an idea thread from Paige and thought I’d run with it and start a little discussion. For me the hardest part about gentle discipline is that it doesn’t come naturally. I was raised in a sometimes very loving, sometimes very dysfunctional home, with one super loving, caring parent and the other who ended up in jail on domestic violence charges. I guess that should have been the first clue that what comes naturally for me, isn’t necessarily the right choice to make. As a coach, I know that you spend a lifetime developing habits and patterns that cause you to react in certain situations like you do, without even thinking about it. So, when I became a parent, I was amazed at how patterns of control snuck right up on me.
I need to say here that my Mom did a great job raising me under not so great circumstances. She is now a parttime care provider to my girls and does a great job following the gentle discipline concepts we've talked about. So, absolutely no judgement about good or bad in the past, it just "is". And now, we have more information about how brains work and more tools available to us. They also didn't have child seats when I was a baby, so of course my Mom didn't use those either.
So, the hardest part for me is learning to consciously parent. To me that means moving parenting from the depths of my brain where I just react in a way programmed by my 35 years of experience, taking a breath and making a conscious decision to parent in a different way. When I do this, I take a breath and ask myself, is what I am about to do going to build or damage the relationship with my child and is it worth it? There are definitely days were I fall into routines, but as I tell my clients, the new patterns will eventually become habits too and I won’t have to work or think as hard at it someday. And the biggest payoff for me is that, when my kids are parents, their habits will be gentle ones. They can react from that unconscious place in a gentle and loving way. I can tell you, I’d rather do that work for them now let them build upon this foundation. I have a friend whose parents following the "Love and Logic" model, which seems like it was a pre-curser to GD. She does a lot of the same things I do, but they just come naturally to her.
What’s the hardest part of GD for you?
Please join us all week, June 25-June30, 2012, as we explore the world of gentle, effective parenting. We have new posts each day by talented authors providing us with insight into why gentle parenting is worth your time and how to implement it on a daily basis. We are also giving away several parenting book and other goodies from our sponsors this week. Please stop by and enter to win! This year's beautiful motherhood artwork is by Patchwork Family Art. Visit the store to see all her work.